meditation | Earth Angels Diary

It was 2004 when I did my first meditation. Right then, yet again, I had came out of another disastrous relationship, this time with an alcoholic, who drank a lot because his brother had been graphically murdered.

When our relationship ended I felt drained. So, I heard in my head ‘go to church’ over and over, eventually I did. At that point, I didn’t really know what to expect from the spiritualist church. I didn’t know what they did. I knew that I was spiritual. It probably sounds really silly now, but when I realised that there was a medium taking the class it scared me a bit.

It was an alien experience and the person who took the class had a lot of ego (to me there is no ego with spirit). Anyway we sat in circle and I was full of apprehension, what would happen now?

The teacher said that we would do a meditation. At that time in my life, I barely sat still for longer than five minutes, let alone to sit still with my eyes closed for half an hour.

But i was determined to give it a try. And so I sat, closed my eyes after focusing on the flowers in the centre of the circle. To be honest, I didn’t really expect anything to happen. What did, I will never forget. My eyes were closed, and I sat with my feet on the floor, suddenly, there were faces coming at me, the only way that I can describe this, was like the constant flash of light of a camera going off, one after the other bang bang bang heading towards me.

I was scared, I didn’t know what was happening. I got up to walk away (I must have been deep as I didn’t physically get up) as I got up, I suddenly had a long black cloak on, that had a hood, and I could feel pulling on the hood of my cloak to pull me back.

At that moment I felt a burning sensation in the centre of my forehead. Which felt like a thumb pressing down hard in the middle of my forehead right above where the middle part of my eyes were.

It was such an intense sensation. When I got home, I felt sick. Really sick. I didn’t understand why or really what had just happened?

At that time, I belonged to an internet forum called ‘butterfly and angels spiritual heaven’ I knew that on that site were mediums, and I went there to ask what had happened to me, and why I felt so sick?

They asked me if I had done grounding work, roots into the floor? I said no I hadn’t. So they told me what to do. I visualised roots going down through my feet until they clicked back into the ground. I felt better and no longer felt sick.

I have never really talked about this with anybody and what happened that day has never happened again. But, what has happened is that whenever I was in a situation which was part of my work, if i was working with a vulnerable client, i would feel the pressing in the middle of my forehead, and I would say things to people to help them. I never knew how I knew to say exactly the right thing. But I did. And a lot of people said how they opened up to me, in a way that they hadn’t before.

I wish that I knew what had happened that day. If anybody reads this and can explain to me, that would be wonderful,I am presuming that this was my third eye opening? 🙂

We do not, on the earth plane, when contained by our bodies, really appreciate or understand the feeling of someone else’s love.

The only way that we know, is by how someone treats us. By how we feel about ourselves when we are with them. By them telling us that they love us. But we can never actually FEEL their love.

My grandfather had died in 1996. I loved him with all of my heart, and he meant so much to me. 8 years after his death, I had started to attend spiritualist church. To sit in circle and do meditation. In meditation, we go to our secret garden, and here we can meet with spirit.

My grandfather was often there, in the garden. He loved gardening, and I left him to tend to my garden. I was happy for him to be there.

This particular meditation, I sat under a tree in my meditation, in my garden, with my grandfather. It is the only time that this has happened. And what i experienced, I will never forget.

I had been feeling lonely and isolated. And just felt quite lost, and alone in life. As I sat there with my grandfather, I actually FELT his love. I felt it as if he was speaking it. It washed over me. It was an incredible feeling. I FELT HIS LOVE…. a warm sensation of love…. it was like being in love, but it wasn’t my love, it was his love for me, I actually felt it, like somebody throwing it all over me, engulfing me, it felt warm, nice, secure. It was pink….a warm bright pink, it was beautiful, i could see it, sense it feel it. Never have I ever actually felt someone else’s love. I was blown away, for I had no idea that he loved me so much, or so deeply. No words, and no actions he could have offered on this earth plane, had ever let me know just how much.

It made me realise that in spirit, we are love. Our souls are made up of love. And it also made me realise that in spirit, there are no secrets. There are no games. For we can actually feel how someone else feels. I mean really feel it, as if it were my own.

I know, that I can write about this, but it still impossible to explain. Unless you have experienced it yourself. What a gift… just for a short time, to experience that depth of love, from somebody who meant so much to me. I can only imagine it must have took a lot of his energy, as although it meant so much to me, it never happened again.

Maybe, it was enough. He just needed me to know, exactly HOW MUCH he loved me.

It was a very special experience. Something I wish everyone could feel, at least once in this lifetime. And an experience that I will never forget.