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Message from spirit – music is the vibration of your soul!

: Summer Solstice Stonehenge 2008

The summer solstice 2008, was an interesting time, and a time when I was to learn a lot spiritually. I am unsure where my headspace was at the time. My cousin who was 23 had been found dead outside in wasteland, and my own life was just starting an interesting magical journey.

Only two months earlier, my life and my world was about to change. I had been bored, and quite frustrated as my own children, had reached teenage years, and were now heading towards their 20’s.

Two months earlier, my life had started on a radical change. That would bring lots of new people into my life. I had been told by a psychic/medium to accept every invitation, that no harm would come to me. I of course, took this literally, which meant I didn’t have one weekend at home from May – Dec 31st 2008.

It was June 2008, with some amazing new friends in tow, we went to summer solstice at Stonehenge. I had no idea of the events that would unfold this night.

We took photos, just larking around. We took photos of a set of bongos, and were surprised to see what looked like Orbs.

As we stared at the photo on the small screen on the back of my camera,myself and a friend Kayla, half heartedly joked

Ok spirit if you want to be in on the picture, come on in, stand in the photo with us…

Ok, now don’t laugh at the hat. It wasn’t even mine. It was cold at night after a hot day, and I borrowed it from a friend 🙂 Honestly!! I have blown up these photos, and I can clearly see the orange light that sounds the white circles. We laughed about this and went on our way to the stones to celebrate Solstice.

A life lesson about harmony and music being the vibration of your soul

I was no stranger to hearing spirit. I think it was no coincidence that this increased after my cousin died, we both had a passion for music.

A friend of mine came with a plastic tub and offered me what looked like chocolate brownies. Or at least this is what I thought they were. I had no idea that what I was actually eating, was magic cakes. I wondered why I was suddenly so hungry, and with nothing else to eat, ate more of the ‘what I was later to understand’ magic cakes.

I became fascinated by the music. People playing the drums. All were in harmony, except one who appeared to play music to his own rhythm. I heard a dialogue running through my head. Which sounded like my cousin who died voice.

Can you hear this Nik?

I sat, transfixed by the beat of the music.The voice in my head continued….

These people are playing the drums. The pattern of the music that they are playing, is the vibration of their soul. Can you hear them all in tune? That is because their spirits are working in harmony together. Can you see/hear that drummer over there? He is playing his own rhythm, with no thought of anyone else, no harmony with anyone else. He is disconnected from the group. He is on his own.

I peered over with interest, listening to the solitary drummer. The voice continued in my head……

Do you know when you hear the term ‘get a bad vibe from someone?’ this is because all of our souls have a vibration. Normally you cannot hear the vibration. Tonight they are playing the vibration of their souls through their drums. If this was the ‘real world’ some might say that they get a ‘bad vibe’ from the solitary drummer. yet not know or understand why. It is when your vibration of your soul is not in harmony with another and it clashes with your own vibration. This happens all of the time in real life. yet most do not understand why.

I am unsure what happened for the rest of the night. Yet I know that this dialogue continued for many hours. Until it was 8am, and security nudged my leg and I heard a voice,

Come on, wake up, its time to go home now.

I was grateful for the lesson that I had learned that night. I realised that the people that were brought into my life, at that time, were all similar to me. Not only this we all connected through music.

2008 was to be an incredible year, where music would be a big part of my life. All new friends that connected, we were all on the same vibration, not only musically but spiritually too.

It is a lesson that I have never forgotten.

MUSIC IS THE VIBRATION OF YOUR SOUL

How I ‘see’ what does this mean?

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I have never really worked to ‘be a medium’ or anything like this. I just do my work, wherever life takes me. the last 10 year and for most of my life, this has been with homeless people, people who were homeless and vulnerable.

I am very lucky in that I have experienced walking side by side with some of the most incredible people. I could help women in domestic violence situation in the morning, and work with mental health in the afternoon, the next day I could be counselling someone with drug issues in the morning, and working on child protection in the afternoon. This was my work. It is pretty much all that I have done.

I have had no formal training to be a medium, but these two stories are true life events that happened to me recently.

The first I was talking to someone online. It wasn’t someone that I knew in real life. I saw in my mind, a little girl. She was around 8 years old. I still have that picture of her in my mind. She had long blond hair with a fringe. I saw her playing with a hula hoop. She was swirling it around her. She was smiling. I had the feeling she had died in a road traffic accident.

As I am not a medium and I didn’t know this woman particularly well, it scared me to tell her what I was feeling. What if she told me I was wrong? But the feeling didn’t go away. So, I described the little girl, and told her what she looked like. I said, I am really sorry to say this, but I just feel that she might have died in a road traffic accident. I told her about the hula hoop she was playing with. She looked very happy.

And the woman replied ‘oh yes, this is my sister, she was run over. My father reversed around the corner into her, whilst she was playing outside.She is around me often, my favourite photo is of me and her playing with hula hoops, it sits in a frame on my fireplace‘….. (she later confirmed that her sister was indeed 8 years old and with long blond hair when she died).

I was stunned…..

Another time, I was sat in my house, and I was waiting for somebody to come to see me. He had promised that he would be back at 11pm. He didn’t show. As I sat on my sofa, I saw a long banner, flashing saying WARNING and I had a strong feeling that he was in danger of going down a drug pathway.

I didn’t know who he was with. He was doing music, and wanted to make it writing music. The feeling was so strong, I texted him ‘I do not know who you are with, but please go careful, you are in danger of going down a drug pathway‘

He eventually did show up at my house the next morning. With a man. Who he said was a music producer. As the conversation unfolded, I was stunned to learn that the man was a man who:

Used heroin and crack cocaine
Sold Ketamine

Another time more recently, last week. I was on a message board, for support, and somebody posted there. She was asking for help. other people attacked her, but i could see exactly what she was writing and I knew for sure that she had a difficult life. I was going to ask her if she worked with people? I felt so sure that she might be spiritual, that I gave her details to this website.

She wrote back to me. What i was seeing was right….. and not only this, she had a page here too, also spiritual, and she told me how she had trained as a medium, and most of her friends were spiritual?????

I don’t know how I knew, but she shone through. I could see she was a lightworker, who needed help.

Another time, I was in a group where there was a woman, who on a thread asking how people felt, wrote one word. I can’t even remember what the word was. I saw a banner flash in red DANGER WARNING DANGER, I knew that she was in trouble. She said that she thought that her husband would kill her. She believed that he had killed his ex partner and served time in jail. I felt overwhelmingly that she needed help. I reached out, and although she was in USA, I passed details of local DV support units. She didn’t contact them, and her fear continued. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew that this woman wouldn’t be alive for long. One day, I saw on her wall, that she had died. Only a few weeks later. It turned out that her husband hadn’t killed her. She had died of a heart attack. Perhaps he had in his own way, maybe stress can do that to you? I don’t know…..

I wish I knew how these things happened. They are the only two i can think of off of the top of my head. I guess, i hope that somebody will read these messages and help me to make sense of what I am describing?

My first meditiation

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It was 2004 when I did my first meditation. Right then, yet again, I had came out of another disastrous relationship, this time with an alcoholic, who drank a lot because his brother had been graphically murdered.

When our relationship ended I felt drained. So, I heard in my head ‘go to church’ over and over, eventually I did. At that point, I didn’t really know what to expect from the spiritualist church. I didn’t know what they did. I knew that I was spiritual. It probably sounds really silly now, but when I realised that there was a medium taking the class it scared me a bit.

It was an alien experience and the person who took the class had a lot of ego (to me there is no ego with spirit). Anyway we sat in circle and I was full of apprehension, what would happen now?

The teacher said that we would do a meditation. At that time in my life, I barely sat still for longer than five minutes, let alone to sit still with my eyes closed for half an hour.

But i was determined to give it a try. And so I sat, closed my eyes after focusing on the flowers in the centre of the circle. To be honest, I didn’t really expect anything to happen. What did, I will never forget. My eyes were closed, and I sat with my feet on the floor, suddenly, there were faces coming at me, the only way that I can describe this, was like the constant flash of light of a camera going off, one after the other bang bang bang heading towards me.

I was scared, I didn’t know what was happening. I got up to walk away (I must have been deep as I didn’t physically get up) as I got up, I suddenly had a long black cloak on, that had a hood, and I could feel pulling on the hood of my cloak to pull me back.

At that moment I felt a burning sensation in the centre of my forehead. Which felt like a thumb pressing down hard in the middle of my forehead right above where the middle part of my eyes were.

It was such an intense sensation. When I got home, I felt sick. Really sick. I didn’t understand why or really what had just happened?

At that time, I belonged to an internet forum called ‘butterfly and angels spiritual heaven’ I knew that on that site were mediums, and I went there to ask what had happened to me, and why I felt so sick?

They asked me if I had done grounding work, roots into the floor? I said no I hadn’t. So they told me what to do. I visualised roots going down through my feet until they clicked back into the ground. I felt better and no longer felt sick.

I have never really talked about this with anybody and what happened that day has never happened again. But, what has happened is that whenever I was in a situation which was part of my work, if i was working with a vulnerable client, i would feel the pressing in the middle of my forehead, and I would say things to people to help them. I never knew how I knew to say exactly the right thing. But I did. And a lot of people said how they opened up to me, in a way that they hadn’t before.

I wish that I knew what had happened that day. If anybody reads this and can explain to me, that would be wonderful,I am presuming that this was my third eye opening? 🙂

Positive thinking – The EASY way!! :)

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We often see the words ‘you are what you think’ or ‘change your thinking change your world’, many people look at this, and even post these words on posters on their Facebook wall. They know the words, but quite simply they do not know how to achieve this.

You are responsible for you. There is no ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’ waiting to take you away to a better life. Only you can do this yourself. And if you do nothing, and sit and wait for things to ‘get better’ things will remain the same. Why is this? It is quite simply because your mind and how you think, controls your life.

Life is complicated. And it is made even more complicated by us, as humans. You should simplify your life. Remember, that realistically, we are just thought. When we are in spirit, thought is all that we are. We quite literally are ‘what we think we are’ life is all about perception, how we perceive it to be. Sometimes we get lost and stuck. The reason for this is because we are making life far too complicated.

So, I promised to tell you, the easiest way to achieve positive thinking. It is so simple, that you will kick yourself for not realising it yourself.

You need to realise that there are only two real emotions.

Love
Fear

At this point, you will be ready to argue with me, and say but no, there is this or this or this. I want you to hear me out. Whatever emotion you can think of, EVERY single emotion, will come back to either – love – or fear.

As an example, lets use the word ‘envy’. Envy is fear. Why is envy fear? Envy is fear because we fear that this person has more than we have, we fear that we are not as good as this person, we fear that if this person has so much, there will not be enough for us, we fear that this person is better than us, and therefore this makes us feel insignificant ourselves.

So, how do we change that feeling of envy, which is a negative emotion, into one which is positive? We do it, simply by removing the fear. So if you feel envious or jealous of someone. Remove the fear, replace the fear with love. Get a pen and paper and write it down if it helps.

I want you to get a piece of paper, and write down everything that makes you feel envy for this person Harry. This is fictitious, so, I will say the following:

I am jealous of Harry, he is better looking than me
He has a better job than me, is more successful
He is financially more secure than me
He has a loving caring support unit around him
He is popular

Now take each of those sentences and ask yourself – ‘where is the fear’ write it down.

For example:

I am scared that compared to him, I don’t look as attractive – and he will get all the women.
You fear is that a) you wont look so attractive compared to him and b) you fear that he will get all the women, leaving none for you.

So, what i want you to do now… is change those statements. Remove your fear. Because you are focusing on HIM and not on YOU. I want you to change this statement, and to replace the fear with love – So, for example.

Harry is a good looking guy, he attracts a lot of women, that’s great for me, as he can’t possibly date them all.
He brings quite a few fit women into our circle. Other women are attracted to me, because I hang out with Harry.
I feel great about myself and I know that there are women who will love me for me. If Harry only attracts women who go for looks, well those are not the type i want anyway. And this leaves more for me.
I want a woman who will love me, even when I have woken up early in the morning, after lack of sleep the night before. I want a woman who will never say to me ‘oh what have you done to your hair’

Now try the other examples, take away the fear, and replace it with love. Either use those examples, or choose real situations in your life. Think of things that are causing you anxiety, or stress. Think of something that is making you feel negative. It can be anything at all.

Whatever your situation is, whatever your thinking is, whatever your problem is. Take a piece of paper. Write your problem down on paper. Write down your fear, then remove the fear and replace it with a loving feeling. Replace it with love.

That is the easiest way to think positively. When you think positively you attract positivity into your life. The more positive you have, the more you attract.

It might seem difficult at first, but the more you practice, the easier it will become and soon it will be second nature. And you will attract people towards you, because you will be a happy, positive soul who people love to be around. You will succeed. And you will be happy.

Try it and see!!

A lesson to stop living in the past – and to appreciate what I have today.

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I had moved house at the end of 2009, It was a big move, as I had lived in my old house for 15 years. I owned my old house, and it was our family home. I had spent years complaining that my old house needed repair and that I wanted to move. But found it difficult to sell (I later learned that it was a house number 16, which is a house of karmic debt, but I will write about this at another time)

I moved house to provide a better home for my baby. It’s ironic, that i wouldn’t do this for me. But I would for my baby. To give her a better life. But as I finished the last piece of furniture lovingly placed into the house, my baby died. Right at the end of pregnancy.

So, I was left in a beautiful home – for me.

But, it was rented. It must have been a year later, and I was sat in my house, wishing that i hadn’t sold my house. I had forgotten so many things, and was not feeling grateful for what I now had.

I had felt this way for weeks. I couldn’t shake off the feeling. An old friend contacted me saying that “he was going out for the day, did I want to go with him”? I said, “why not” and agreed to go. In the back of the car, I was complaining how I missed my old house. I had known him for years, and he looked back at me, with a stern look and said “I can’t believe you are moaning about your old house, you complained for years that you wanted to move and get out, as you couldn’t do the repairs”.

I had sold the house to his friend. So, he told me “you haven’t lost a lot, as by the time he did the house up, he didn’t make any money, it brought him no luck as he split with his fiance who he bought the house with, and it took him more than a year to sell” He told me how lucky I was to have sold it. And reminded me that even with specialist skills, he found it difficult to sell.

I did listen to what he had to say, and it had some effect.

Later that day I returned home, and went to the garage. I had boxes in there that still hadn’t been unpacked. In the box, there was a box of CD’s and another box of photographs. I was overjoyed to have my personal possessions back. Things that meant so much to me.

On the top of the box of music, there was two tapes. Only two. I assumed that the rest must have been in the car that was stolen. I brought the tapes into the house. i pressed play…. and was stunned to hear a reading from 2004 with a medium. I could hear me on the tape saying how I wanted to move house, and how unhappy I was. I listened to the tape in amazement, especially after the conversation that morning, and how i had been feeling the past few weeks.

I wondered what was on the second tape. Put it into the stereo and again, pressed play…. and again i was stunned. It was another reading with a medium. In all of my life, I had only ever had two readings, with two mediums on tape. I was almost open mouthed as I listened…. again, there was discussion how much work I had to do on the house, and how I wanted to move. How I so needed help to do the work. And how i needed help to move.

As I sat and I listened, I looked around my beautiful brand new home, and I felt at peace. I had no reason to complain. I had spent years of my life complaining about my home. How I wanted a home which needed no repair. How I had this idea of the perfect house in my head. And… well here I was.

And for the first time in a year, I saw things differently.

I needed a reminder. I needed to be reminded, to be taken back to the past to see, to have value for what I have now. How lucky I am.

From that point onwards. I never again complained about where I live.

A grandfathers spiritual love!!

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We do not, on the earth plane, when contained by our bodies, really appreciate or understand the feeling of someone else’s love.

The only way that we know, is by how someone treats us. By how we feel about ourselves when we are with them. By them telling us that they love us. But we can never actually FEEL their love.

My grandfather had died in 1996. I loved him with all of my heart, and he meant so much to me. 8 years after his death, I had started to attend spiritualist church. To sit in circle and do meditation. In meditation, we go to our secret garden, and here we can meet with spirit.

My grandfather was often there, in the garden. He loved gardening, and I left him to tend to my garden. I was happy for him to be there.

This particular meditation, I sat under a tree in my meditation, in my garden, with my grandfather. It is the only time that this has happened. And what i experienced, I will never forget.

I had been feeling lonely and isolated. And just felt quite lost, and alone in life. As I sat there with my grandfather, I actually FELT his love. I felt it as if he was speaking it. It washed over me. It was an incredible feeling. I FELT HIS LOVE…. a warm sensation of love…. it was like being in love, but it wasn’t my love, it was his love for me, I actually felt it, like somebody throwing it all over me, engulfing me, it felt warm, nice, secure. It was pink….a warm bright pink, it was beautiful, i could see it, sense it feel it. Never have I ever actually felt someone else’s love. I was blown away, for I had no idea that he loved me so much, or so deeply. No words, and no actions he could have offered on this earth plane, had ever let me know just how much.

It made me realise that in spirit, we are love. Our souls are made up of love. And it also made me realise that in spirit, there are no secrets. There are no games. For we can actually feel how someone else feels. I mean really feel it, as if it were my own.

I know, that I can write about this, but it still impossible to explain. Unless you have experienced it yourself. What a gift… just for a short time, to experience that depth of love, from somebody who meant so much to me. I can only imagine it must have took a lot of his energy, as although it meant so much to me, it never happened again.

Maybe, it was enough. He just needed me to know, exactly HOW MUCH he loved me.

It was a very special experience. Something I wish everyone could feel, at least once in this lifetime. And an experience that I will never forget.

Our death is already planned out…..and as time draws near – we remember!

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I had often thought that our lives are mapped out before us, before we are born. To choose the lessons in life that we need to learn, to grow for the spiritual growth that we need.

But what happened at death, I had little knowledge about.

My grandmother was 93 when she became sick in 2011. It was unfortunate, as my own daughter had died the previous year in 2010. Because of this, i had avoided my grandmother. I knew that she worried about me, if things were difficult for me. I loved her very much, and she meant a lot to me and so I didn’t want to be a burden to her.

Because of this, in 2010, and 2011, I called her less often and I saw her less often. This hurt her, but, I was trying to protect her. I didn’t want her to worry about me.

My father had said that my grandmother was sick and in the hospital. But, I couldn’t go. I had severe post traumatic stress disorder, and I couldn’t face hospitals. My grandmother was old skool, of a different generation. To her, babies died, and you got up and got on with it. it happened in her generation all the time.

Shortly before she died, I became concerned, as I was calling her and nobody answered her phone.

This particular day, I was so concerned that she hadn’t answered her phone, and I had tried to call her for more than a week. So, to check that she was ok, I called the manager of the nursing home she was living in. She told me that my grandmother had not been too well. But that they had now moved the phone right next to her bed, and so, if I called then she should pick up. She said that my grandmother had been waiting to hear from me.

My grandmother was the kindest, most caring person that you could ever meet. Everybody loved her. She had a good heart and a good spirit; she had a warm heart and she always made people laugh. This was just her way. No matter how ill she felt, she always had a good word to say, and was a joy to be around.

And so called her number again, and this time she answered.

But she was different with me. In a way I had never seen before. She wasn’t happy with me at all. She said ‘where have you been, I have been waiting for you’ . I hadn’t seen her for the last 6 weeks, as I couldn’t face the hospital, and I had some upsetting news, and I didn’t want her to worry about me.

This particular day on the phone, aside from saying ‘where have you been I have been waiting for you’ …. She was short and abrupt with me. She was bad tempered for the first time ever in my life. At the end of the conversation, she paused and then barked at me…. and Nicola, ‘yes’ I said…. ‘dont leave it so long next time’. She was firm. Her words were an order. She was telling me to get there Now. I couldn’t mistake the urgency in her voice.

The day was Saturday. I was looking after my granddaughter, so I couldn’t go in immediately. The very next morning I went in to see her. It was Sunday. I went with my granddaughter who was a 3 month old baby.

As i sat there, my grandmother was not happy with me. Or at least she just wasn’t herself. I wished that she could understand. I didn’t want her to be upset with me. She was staring to the left hand side of me, I looked at her, and she asked me who was stood next to me? Had she came with me? …. i said who? Looking around, there was nobody there, she pointed and said a lady with blonde hair. All the time, she was looking around as if she could see people.

I told her that there was nobody there. She said that she must be seeing things.

She then said with a sense of urgency, ‘get Elizabeth’…. who was her daughter, my aunt. My grandmother had two children, my father, and my aunt. She said it with such a sense of urgency that I panicked; i was scared that i would get things wrong.

I went out to the matron’s office and called my aunt. I told her that my grandmother needed her to come in. I came back into my grandmothers room, with her lying so still on her bed and I said to my grandmother, ‘do you want me to call dad’ I feared that she was about to die, and that I would get the blame if she did, if I hadn’t called him.

She looked at me, in a way i had never seen before, and barked at me ‘what’s it got to do with you, it’s nothing to do with you’ ….. I didn’t know what to say. I had never seen my grandmother this way before.

I left and went home. But was quite upset by how she was with me. And i felt sad. I didn’t understand, why was she being this way?

After that Sunday my grandmother went into fast decline. it was like she had been waiting for me. I went to the nursing home every day before work and after work to see her. On the Wednesday night I sat with her holding her hand, until probably 2am, she whispered to me, to go home. I tried to plead with her to please understand. I loved her very much.

I was never an early riser, yet, despite that, I woke at 5.30am the next morning. I was at the nursing home for 6am. There, i sat with her. My father and my brother were there with her when I got there, and they left for work, when my aunt got there.

We sat at either side of her bed and held her hand. I knew that she was suffering and in pain. I didn’t want her to suffer anymore. The manager of the nursing home said that she could be like this for days, she reassured my father before he went to work at 7.30am.

Sitting either sided of her, my aunt was emotional, and begged her not to go ‘please mum, please don’t go’, and ‘please don’t leave us’. I looked at my aunt, and looked at my grandmother.

I knew it was her time to go. I led the way, and said ‘it’s time to go now Nan, it’s time to put on your dancing shoes, to go up there to the greatest ballroom in the sky. Granddad is waiting for you, he is waiting for you to dance’ It’s time to go. My aunt followed my lead, and said ‘it’s time to go mum, go home to les, he is waiting for you’….

And with that, my grandmother died. In a way, it was a beautiful thing. It was like birth but in reverse. It was 7.50am on Thursday morning. Only 4 days after she had ordered me to come in.

You see, my grandmother had been waiting for me. I think that my grandmother already knew who would be with her when she died. She was old and tired and she was waiting to go home. But, she already knew before she died just how it would be. I thought how she was cross with me, when I said I would call my father. How she barked that it was nothing to do with me. How she asked me to call my aunt, and how she went into decline as soon as I visited. She just knew…..